Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
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