I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
