I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize