im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
