what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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