hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
