absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Randomize
