Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize