We're like a lot better than the average bears
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize