I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
