Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
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