When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
I cockslap morals
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
