I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
He told me they were just razor bumps!
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
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