I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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