i don't like sucking hair
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
