she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
