:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Randomize
