At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
