oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
Randomize
