New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
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