You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
