The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Randomize
