How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
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