I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
