jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Randomize