You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Randomize
