Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Randomize
