Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize
