I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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