Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
