Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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