if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Randomize
