oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Randomize
