I didn't shave. On purpose
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
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