I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
I checked into jail on foursquare
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Terrible idea I love it
I need a beard to bite.
Randomize
