she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
