I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
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