I wanna passion pit in your ass
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
