I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Randomize
