fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Randomize
