Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Randomize
