did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
