i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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