Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
