actually, I'm a sock model
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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