Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
