remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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