stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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