I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
