i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Randomize
