shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
