the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize