Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Randomize
