Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
