I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Randomize
