If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
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