Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
