who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Randomize
