whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
