Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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