I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
