I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
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