i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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