32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
You can't motorboat a personality
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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