I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
