his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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