just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
the liver wants what the liver wants
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Randomize
