six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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