At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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