Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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