I'm going to jail i love you
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Randomize