ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
